The Temptation of Adam by Dave Connis

Author:Dave Connis [Connis, Dave]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sky Pony Press
Published: 2017-02-15T05:00:00+00:00

GO DO STUFF THAT ISN’T PORN

The Knights of Vice and Dez and Addy all sit in the living room at my house. None of us talk. We just stare at the floor, but we don’t want to leave each other. I haven’t let go of Dez’s hand since we left the hospital three hours ago.

I don’t understand how I can go from experiencing no deaths to one and a half of them in a matter of months. As soon as I started thinking, as soon as I started asking questions, it happened. Pain came. Now, even if I wanted to make myself stop asking questions, I don’t think I could. I have no idea how I avoided it before. Chaos seems so present now. I feel like I’d have to be a moron not to notice.

The doorbell rings. I hear my dad say thanks, and then he appears with four pizza boxes in hand.

“I’m not sure if you guys are hungry.” He puts the boxes on the coffee table. “I was, and I figured pizza never hurt anyone’s feelings.”

He grabs a few pieces, and the Knights of Vice attempt some pitiful thank-yous as he walks out of the room.

As I watch him leave, I feel an overwhelming urge to answer his questions. The ones he asked a day before. It’s as though now that Mr. Cratcher isn’t going to be around, I need someone else smarter than me to know what’s going on. I need someone else willing to ask questions that piss me off, like “What are you?”

I stand, letting go of Dez’s hand. She immediately uses her newfound freedom to grab a slice of pizza.

I follow my dad out of the living room and into his office.

“I’ve looked at porn since I was twelve, but I wasn’t addicted to it until The Woman left.”

Dad turns around, giving me every bit of attention he has.

“That’s what I’ve been doing in my room,” I say.

God, this is so hard. I feel like the words can’t fit through my mouth, like square pegs trying to escape through circular holes. Just like when I first started talking with Addy. Luckily, he already knows why I was suspended, so I don’t have to spill that on him, too.

“Hours and hours. I didn’t know I was addicted until Mr. Cratcher told me. Until I met Dez. This will be a shock, but I’ve never had sex. I wanted to, bad. Everything that’s happened is because I wanted to have sex more than anything, but I wasn’t ever close enough to anyone to get it. I didn’t want to be close to anyone. The Woman made me not care about other people. I figured if you could love someone as hard as you loved her and have it not matter, then why care? Why not just use people before they used you?”

He stands silent. Still. As if the act of listening fastens him to the floor.

“As for what really happened at school. I know you know, but I just … can’t talk about it yet.

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